Aligning with the way I want to show up in my life

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Aligning with the way I want to show up in my life

I had every intention of spending January coming up with a comprehensive business plan for Soulflower, complete with goals, incremental steps to achieving them, and deadlines to hold me accountable.

Ha ha! Didn’t even come close to doing this, although I really did try. My body has been tired, my mind has been foggy and my natural inclinations have had nothing at all to do with plans or goal setting. It is winter after all in my part of the world. The earth is covered (mostly) with snow and ice, and for all intensive purposes the rhythm and energy of the season is not for high-energy planning and doing.

Iris was the pick for January and her energy couldn't reflect this more perfectly. She encourages you to see the beauty within, what lights you up and sparks your fire... so that you can better express it out in the world.  If you are looking for inspiration and intention, or action even, that aligns perfectly with your soul’s purpose out in the world you have to get really quiet so that you can hear the whispering of your own heart. You have to trust this process too.  It can’t be forced, and it certainly can’t be controlled. Inspiration may strike at any time, and when it is aligned with who you are you can be sure you will know it. It feels so good on every level. Effortless flow. Thoughts, words and actions aligned. Quite the opposite to the drudgery of business planning and goal setting (for me anyway...others may totally relish this activity) that feels like something I should be doing but is so hard because I’m pushing. Uphill. Every. Step. Of. The. Way.

Of course my beautiful Iris patch is mostly hidden right now, but her dark, dried seed heads are all poking up above the snow and I ventured out to take a look. Looking directly down you can see a beautiful triple point, triqueta shape that is echoed in her petals when she is blooming. I'm not so fluent in sacred geometry or the ancient meanings of particular symbols but this triple pointed “star”, this grouping of three is a common theme in my life. To me, it represents balance, with three elements in a flowing "circular” fashion, no element more important that the other and all in harmony. Some examples might be mind/body/soul or work/self/family. More recently it is come to mean a balance between my thoughts/actions/words and how I express them in my life. The symbol feels sacred and special, and a reminder of the cyclical nature of life and growth.

As I'm contemplating all of this, a new three part phrase comes into my awareness. “See it/feel it/express it” appears quite clearly as if I just read a sign.

This is often how I connect with plants and receive their messages...as physical or emotional feelings, rememberings and phrases or words, INSPIRATIONS, that pop into my mind.

And I sit there awhile, journaling, taking some time to think through and understand and digest the message I'm receiving, trying to put all that I am feeling and understanding into words.

Another week goes by with me attempting to get organized and to plan, before I FINALLY realize that all the pushing and efforting is NOT AT ALL in alignment with what my heart is telling me to do. It’s not that business planning and goal setting is not important, it’s just that the timing is just not right for these activities, for me. So that no matter how hard I push, or how hard I strive, there is no chance I’m going to get anywhere with it right now. I swear Iris, whose images and seed pods are all over my drawing table, starts cheering. It really does take me time for all the dots to connect...and then I deeply understand that each dot is not the finish line, but simply another step in my personal growth and understanding as a human being.

Instead I need to hold the vision of what it is I am trying to create with my work and then I need to be able to feel into how I want to express that on any given day. What do I feel inspired to do?

I want to be organized, but as far as social media content, or blog posts, or even my artwork is concerned, it's all spontaneous and relevant to what I'm doing/feeling/thinking that very day. Impossible to schedule and plan for. And I am learning to trust this process after a lifetime of pushing and striving and trying to achieve my version, and the version others expect of me, of success. My whole being is now trying to come into a healthy balance. Divine feminine energies of darkness and receptivity and flow rising up and challenging my dominant masculine “got to get it done and be constructive” energies to pause and take a deep breath. And the whole universe it seems is conspiring and supporting this, although not always in a way I relish.  But I know that I am playing my part in the giant scheme of things by being willing to participate in the moment and go with the flow.

And so it is nearly the end of the month and I have no great Soulflower business plan. I put away my goal charts and my lists and my planners and instead I’m connecting with and painting Iris because that's what feels good.  Oh and attempting to put my spiraling, random thoughts and personal revelations down on paper writing this piece of course!  Iris energy reminding me, and inspiring me to be fully aligned with my own divine expression. And what I know is that RIGHT NOW I don’t need a strategic plan of my heartswork for the next year, six months or even the rest of the week, I just need to TRUST the process.

I see/I feel/I express

What is it that you want to express in the world? How do you want to be?

Iris can be found in my Soulflower Plant Spirit Oracle. 

 



1 Response

Ariel
Ariel

February 13, 2017

Oh, I can relate to this so much, Lisa! Thanks for sharing your journey. I gave myself a hard time most of last year for not having a plan for the direction of my life and career, and for now I’ve just decided to give myself permission to let it flow, follow my curiosity and be happy in the moment, and see where it takes me.

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