Ahh, sweet September. The children are back in school, my husband is finally employed full-time again, and here I am 100% immersed in my Soulflower world with the run of a quiet house during the day in which to create. I have dreamed of this for so long and now I am finally harvesting that dream...and it feels oh so sweet!
So, at 49, here I am fully learning to be myself, and it feels new, but comfortable, and exciting and full of possibility. I couldn’t have picked a better flower spirit guide to reflect with this month than Daffodil. And I am marvelling at the synchronicity and timing—there truly is a Divine intelligence at play!
“Be who you is, because if you be who you ain’t then you ain’t who you is.”
How true! This little quote comes from a cutesy poster that used to hang in my grandmother’s home and is one of my strongest memories of her space. When I think of Daffodil I always remember this quote. A beautiful little reminder of our various journeys trying to figure out who we is and how we want to be. In other words, how we perceive ourselves and our world.
You have to try on a lot of costumes during the course of a lifetime, some fit better than others. Many are distorted by the lenses (our perceptions) through which we view and experience our world, our stories, and our own place in it. So I started the month with Daffodil thinking about that, and all the roles I have had that have brought me to the place that I am now.
I thought about our perception of time and how we are always judging our time and how we spend it. Even though I understand that I am exactly where I am meant to be, there is a tinge of sadness, regret maybe, that I didn’t find this place earlier. On the other hand, I know that I wouldn’t have been able to fully embody this work, this path, without all those roles that didn’t quite fit previously.
And I am certainly not going to discredit all the work I have done, learning to be myself, but I discovered early on this month, that Daffodil’s message this time was about SO MUCH MORE.
Daffodil wants you to “see the light," to perceive the beauty and perfection and wholeness that is you, just as you are.
She says, “Forget about your roles, your costumes, your narrow definitions. I want you to SEE THE LIGHT. I want you to see, to understand, and to feel the Divinity that you are, that you embody. Then view the world through THAT lens!"
Woah! Feels big and grown up...but also joyful and not too serious.
Her words landed like an arrow right in my heart center and I remembered. This is my work! This is what I am doing. I am remembering. This is what we are all doing! And this is what I remembered:
(I am writing this in first person, so that you can remember it too, as you read.)
I can perceive that I am supported and nurtured...or not. I am mothered by the Mother. My feet walk upon this physical Earth, this ground, that is alive and pulsing with life force energy. It moves through me and is me—a dynamic mass of atoms and cells that gather to create my form for this life and then return to the Earth when I have moved on. Always growing, always recycling. She provides the air I breathe, she nourishes me, she shelters me and she literally holds me so that I can experience myself as part of this Earth. I AM SUPPORTED.
I can perceive my creativity and abundance...or not. My very form can grow another human! I can create my life and how I choose to experience it through the gifts of my human senses. I notice the wind playing with my hair, the sweetness of honey, the warmth of the sun, the suffering of violence, the stench of neglect, the grip of fear. All of it! I am gifted and have access to it all. I AM ABUNDANT.
I can perceive my strength and power...or not. My light shines as bright as a thousand suns within me. An eternal flame that only I have the power to consciously or unconsciously dim, or snuff out altogether. My inner fire has the power to transform and transmute all that I experience in this lifetime, all obstacles, all challenges—physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. I AM EMPOWERED.
I can perceive my capacity to give and receive boundless love and compassion...or not. My heart is my guide, my channel, my endless well of faith and trust in my ability to give and receive the unconditional love that flows through me, to me, is me. I trust. I AM LOVE.
I can perceive my ability to express my truth...or not. I can use my voice to express who I am. I can empower, articulate love, admire the beauty and diversity in all, inspire and uplift and equally I can choose to do the opposite. I AM WISE.
I can perceive my next best step...or not. I can visualize my hopes, my dreams, my desires, my goals and what I want to do with my life. I can see the signs and symbols, the synchronicities and cycles. I can also see the mystery of it all. I can find my way. I AM GUIDED.
I can perceive my connection with all that is...or not. I am aware of my soul, my spirit, which is eternal and limitless. I am aware of myself as a spiritual being having a physical experience. I am aware that the life force that animates me, flows through us all, each of us a drop in the ever expanding ocean of consciousness that we flow through. I AM DIVINE.
Daffodil says, "It is time to release any self-doubt and revel in the freedom and weightlessness of endless possibilities…to see the divinity and perfection in myself that I can see in others and in the world around me." That is my purpose. That is the purpose of life...to live....right?
And now it’s time to go make dinner! I can perceive this as a divine act of creation, nurturance and love...or not...it's all how you look at it! 😁
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The more I fight and struggle and suffer, the more I create all that I am not. And the more I sink into the watery depths of despair, which I have done over and over as I have unpacked my personal suffering, the more I pull others down with me. Rose tells me over and over that what is in my highest good is indeed in the highest good for all.
On our metaphorical dance floor that is life, we are faced with many choices every moment about what steps to take next. Lady’s Slipper asks if our steps come from within, guided by our connection with our higher selves, or if are they choreographed by others?