I’ve been thinking alot about mantra lately. Not just the spiritual meditative practice of mantra but also the way we repeat certain thoughts (and words, and actions) in our everyday reality—all of which are unconsciously tied to the deeply held core beliefs that we all carry.
In other words, what you say, what you do, and what you think matters. It has the power to affect your physical, mental and emotional well-being as well as your experience of the world around you. It affects every aspect of your life—for better or for worse.
We can eat all the right foods, exercise, get 8 hours of sleep at night, take bubble baths and light candles, meditate, see all the best doctors and so on. But, if we don’t take responsibility for our own inner work, if we can’t be radically honest with ourselves and dig deep to uncover our personal core beliefs, to shine the spotlight of love on ourselves, no matter how painful, and with exquisite self-compassion and forgiveness, we will continue to create our own suffering.
What I have been thinking about in my journey of self-discovery is how I can begin to be conscious, firstly of the mantras I subscribe to and then, through rigorous honesty, to become aware of the core beliefs that they are connected to.
I am nearing the end of the creation stage of my Soulflower Guidebook & Journal. The next stage will be to start marketing it and organizing the pre-order so that I can raise the funds to get this baby published and out into the world. What I have found circulating in my mind, on repeat, my mantras, are numerous thoughts about why I am doing this? Is it good enough? Who am I to share this work? And seriously, what are my credentials?
Of course, as these unproductive thoughts go around and around, my stress level builds—my belly is swirling, my shoulders are tensing and, invariably, my head starts pounding. I begin losing sleep, and losing time, unable to work and (surprise, surprise) the stress magnifies.
Through the power of my own thoughts I am manifesting numerous physical and emotional symptoms. I know this deeply. And what I also know is that I need to dig deeper to discover the source of these unhelpful mantras.
I had a very vivid dream last week where I was chanting over and over, “I am a way-shower. I am a way-shower. I am a way-shower.” When I woke I decided to google what the heck a way-shower was. Surprisingly there was a ton of material! Much of it didn’t resonate but what did resonate was the simple understanding of a way-shower being someone who literally “shows the way.”
Hmmm. I am showing myself the way, right? And I am sharing my journey with others to help inspire them to discover their way, right? That is Soulflower, my heartswork. And this is where I discovered my core belief that was feeding my recent unproductive mantras.
I am deeply uncomfortable with feelings of leadership. Of being a teacher, or considered an expert. Why? I dig deeper—because I have no official certifications, because I deeply believe that we each are our own teachers, because I’ve experienced how easy it is for experts to actually disempower those they are trying to help, because I’ve witnessed the inflated egos of experts thinking their way is the only way, because I don’t want to create any harm, because maybe I'm not good enough to do this, and because mostly it’s really, really scary.
Putting myself, my personal thoughts, my deepest, most vulnerable self, my heart and soul out into the public arena is not exactly easy. But I also know deeply that I am called to do so. And anything less just creates more pain and suffering in my life.
I am literally fighting myself and holding myself back from doing what gives me the greatest joy.
I know that my purpose is just to be me—unashamedly myself—and that doing so is deeply healing for me. I know that the peace and joy that I want to create in my life and in my world begins with me. I know this is true for us all and that is what I am sharing.
So I am using this new moon to set a new intention and to create a new mantra for myself: I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. And I am not surprised that Lady’s Mantle is my Soulflower pick for this moon cycle with her reminder that I am loved and fully supported and that I have all the inner resources I need to be happy and whole—as do you.
Beliefs are everything!
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I know that whatever happens in my life I can roll with it all. I can feel and embrace the joy and the pain because I know they are not separate, or opposite, but are instead the two wings of the same bird, lifting me up and carrying me along.