“It’s only after you’ve stepped outside of your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow and transform.”—Roy T. Bennett
Fear is the way we do battle with our own hearts.
Fear of failure. Fear of judgment. Fear of ridicule. Fear of the unknown. Fear of pain. Fear of loss. Fear of lack. Fear of excess. And on and on and on.
Bee Balm has been supporting me this moon cycle as I take a good look at all the ways I allow fear to close down my heart, my dreams, my longings and my deepest desires.
I'm thinking of how my mind, and my ego voice, often convince me that the best course of action is not to show up or put myself in the spotlight in any way. And, even though my heart is saying YES! YES! I instead hide, stay silent and avoid those things that make me feel vulnerable and uncomfortable.
I'm thinking of how my mind so often tells me that it is best to simply stay in the sanctuary of my garden, where I feel the deepest peace. But my heart knows that to do so means that I am blocking the creative life force energy which flows through me. Blocking growth.
To be vibrant is to be pulsating with life. Everything and everyone on Earth is vibrating, pulsing with this energy.
We all know what that looks like and what it feels like even if we can’t see it. Our children remind us daily. The flowers bloom, the birds sing and the sun shines. We are surrounded by and immersed in this immense life-force energy.
Our hearts understand this, because it is our hearts that are our direct connection to, and gateway for, this life force energy to manifest itself, experience itself and express itself through us.
Fear always blocks the flow of life-force energy.
Can you imagine a world where instead of directing the majority of our creative energy down the collective drain with fear and worry and doubt and anxiety, we instead rose up and fully embraced the life force energy that flows through us, through our hearts, and allowed ourselves to burst open with so much joy and love for life itself?
Can you imagine all of us singing our unique songs, one huge vibrant choir, creating experience after experience of incredible depth and beauty, that allowed our hearts to expand and open and expand and open, allowing us to grow and experience more and more of ourselves as the embodied Divine that we are?
I am no stranger to fear.
Like most people, in my personal life and in my professional life fear, in some form, is a daily occurrence.
This Soulflower journey then has been one small step after the other of overcoming my fears and of opening my heart to the incredible energy that fuels my dreams. It is a journey of trust of course, as I run through all the stories and scripts that I was programmed to embody as a way of understanding myself and my world.
And always, whether I think I am ready for it or not, the next vision, or opportunity, or conversation inevitably happens that pushes me out of my comfort zone, firmly and gently in the direction of my highest good.
Same for you.
Like many, I have built a great wall around my heart, in this lifetime, in other lifetimes, to protect myself, to keep myself safe. But Bee Balm, the Earth, and every cell in my body, all remind me daily to chip away at this wall. To take it down block by block so that I may feel, so that I may experience and express myself—uninhibited, unmuffled by the fears that created the wall in the first place.
This is not easy. It is not easy to live fully embodied in today’s world. But it is simple. We all have a song. It is building, growing and pounding on the walls of our hearts to be let out, to be expressed in all it’s Divine glory.
It takes so much courage and trust to live a vibrant life. To open to the flow.
I have to remind myself daily that I am exactly where I am meant to be. I have to nurture the understanding that I am always doing my best. And when things aren’t going well, when I feel anger, defensiveness, self pity or feelings of failure, I don’t lose myself in them. I observe them for what they are—stories attached to emotional energy—and I open my heart to forgive myself for being human.
Tending, and nurturing, the garden of my soul, a little bit every single day, and every day opening my heart just a little bit further.
In gratitude for the gift of life, may I recognize, honor, allow and be in service to the creative energy that flows through me.
May I remember how it feels to embody and express this energy and to witness and honor the expressions of others.
May I be a clear channel for this energy to flow through me for my highest good and the highest good of all.
This is my purpose. This is the purpose of all life.
May we all remember.
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There is nothing like pain to help us understand what it means to be present and in this dense world of the physical, pain is a most powerful teacher. Have you seen the thorns on a Hawthorn tree?